When was the last time you came back from a trip and thought, goodness, I’m living life all wrong?! I just got back from one of those trips and I’d like to tell you all about it. As salaam ‘alaikum, welcome to the Urdu Seekhiye podcast. This is episode #33. I think this will be broken into several parts. I’ll say three for now. So this is part 1 of episode 33. I just got back from doing a motorcycle tour in the northern parts of Pakistan and I want to spend the next few episodes telling you about it. Because this is a language podcast, an Urdu one, I thought it would only make sense to tell about the journey in Urdu, but I think much more quickly in English and I’m impatient – so I’m going to tell the story in both languages. First in English, and hopefully soon in Urdu. So first a massive shoutout to the folks at Lost with Purpose the tour company I went with to Pakistan – Alex and Sana are the ones who usually lead the tour, but this time around they were busy with opening up a hostel in a town called Ishkoman Valley – so they couldn’t join us. I’ve heard great things about this place and their hostel will open in June 2025 so you might wanna check that out.  They did join us for two days and those were super fun. I can easily say that, for me, it was a life altering experience. You know how sometimes you go to a conference or workshop and you hope that it’ll be life altering? You hope to come back a changed person.

In the past, I have definitely taken trips that have changed me, but just slightly – and with time, you forget the ways in which the experience changed you or inspired you to live in a different way. If you don’t act immediately, then it’s easy to go back to your old habits and routines. I don’t feel that this trip was that kind of experience, I feel that the change that this trip brought wasn’t subtle at all. That’s why I want to talk about it 1. So the future me can have a record of it and 2. Maybe someone else listening to this might be inspired to do something that’s well out of their comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be a motorcycle tour – although if you choose to do it – you wanna make sure you do it with tour guides Ihsan and Wacim. I think they also individually offer private tours, so reach out to them with your dates and what you might wanna check out in Pakistan and they’ll hook you up. I’ll be sure to link to their Instagram so you can connect with them. So back to what I was saying … this trip has definitely changed my brain. So I went on the tour offered in April 2025.

Right now it’s about the end of May – so a little under a month ago I got back and I’m glad I waited this long –returning to my 9-5, having taken in new information and speaking to various people about the trip has helped me to get a new perspective on it. A less ignorant one. I’ll talk more about ignorance later on. So here we go … first I want to start with something I just listened to today – I listened to Trevor Noah’s Podcast – What Now – the episode is with Jonathan Haidt and is titled The Anxious Generation … in it they talked about something called a third place. After looking it up quickly, it’s a term coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg and he says third places are informal public gathering spots where people come together outside of their home. So the home is our first place, the second place is our work, and this third place is where we get a chance to connect with the community – so places like cafes, parks, barber shops, community centers. The idea is that these third places are crucial for social interaction and mental well-being, offering a space where people can relax, connect and build relationships. Why do I bring this up? Well in the podcast, Trevor talked about how when he was a child they would take bricks and block off both ends of their street to allow them to play    whatever … and as we were riding our motorcycles through various towns, we saw this repeatedly. kids would be playing cricket on the road… and of course, in my mind, I’m thinking … wow – how dangerous – how reckless – but they also often had massive stones on the road to cause the cars to slow down. And of course, I’m sure they were mindful of times when the traffic was minimal, so as not put themselves in too much danger and also to not annoy too many drivers. For them, as for Trevor, the street served as a third place. So while I still think it’s dangerous, it’s nice to have a different way to look at it and I definitely am glad that the alternative isn’t happening. Which is happening in the developed world (kids are on their devices, cell phones, ipads, and so on). So give that episode a listen, especially if you have kids.

I’m going to shift gears a bit here, I’d like to tell you about my relationship with Pakistan. I was born there, in Karachi, but came to the states at the age of 7. I have been back to Pakistan 5 times before this motorcycle trip. The last two trips I remember very well. But the most notable trip was in 2023. That’s when I went with my parents, stayed close to family on my dad’s side, and I also attended an NLP workshop with Aliyah Moyehddin. The people I met at that workshop were remarkable and so full of energy with the intention of bringing about positive change in their lives. That’s also the intention I went in with, and while that was a phenomenal experience, looking back at it 2 years later – what has stayed with me to this day… from that trip are all the inDrive trips I took from North Nazimabad to the Luxury Beach Hotel where the workshop was held. I think it was about an hours drive one way. I got to talk to sooo many drivers this way. InDrive is like Karachi’s Uber. I was told how I shouldn’t be talking to the drivers and especially to not let anyone know that I was from abroad. I always let my gut guide how friendly and open I could be with someone. In the 2 dozen or so rides I took, maybe 1 or 2 felt uneasy in terms of the driver’s political or religious views – but otherwise everyone was quite open minded, curious and super friendly – both sides felt that the hour would pass by more quickly if there was friendly chatter, and clearly I was always safely dropped off to my destination. Maybe I was foolish, maybe I got lucky, or maybe the majority of Pakistanis are kind and lovely people. I mention this experience only because I think it played a crucial role in my decision to do the motorcycle tour. Because I spoke Urdu well enough to be understood, and to understand – I thought even in a tough situation, I could talk my way to safety. I had also seen Karachi’s traffic and seen my cousins’ children maneuver in it – both in cars and motorcycles. And then there was this one time where I had my cousin teach me how to ride on his motorcycle. We spent about 40 minutes trying and I did not get far at all, but the fact that he spent time showing me how to ride and the fact that his wife and daughter were also present – and didn’t once try to dissuade me from getting on that bike left me feeling shocked and awe. Okay I’d like to ask you to remember this story about my cousin’s wife as we’ll come back to her.

Right now, I want to share with you a talk by a Buddhist monk titled What is Ignorance? I often get down about what is happening in the world, and most often the only effective remedy I have are words of wisdom. Words from various Buddhist teachers and monks, and various historical fiction. So this talk- titled What is Ignorance comes from the insight timer app – it’s free to download. I highly recommend that you give it a listen – I’ll provide the link to the short talk on the Urdu Seekhiye website.

I’m going to read a bit of it to you now and tell you how I committed the sin of ignorance during my visit to Pakistan. He says: The root of all of our problems according to  Buddhism is ignorance. But what is ignorance? Now if we go from the greek roots, the –gno is to know and the “i” in front of it means not knowing. And if we think that ignorance is not knowing, I think we’re making a basic mistake. I think that ignorance in Buddhism isn’t not knowing, it’s thinking that you actually do know. The minute we label something we think we know something about it and we stop paying attention to it. It’s also often said that within Buddhism the core basic ignorance is the splitting of the self from other. That’s what we’re ignorant of – we’re ignorant that we’re not really separate and so we see ourselves as apart from everything rather than among everything which is actually much more the truth. And so the minute we see something and we think we know something about it – we see a person, we think we know them because we saw them yesterday … or because of the color of their skin or we know something about their religion -the minute we make that assumption, we make them other than us. And the minute we other them we think we know something and we stop paying attention at that point.

So when I decided to learn how to ride a motorcycle from my cousin, I was sure that his wife would distance herself from me thinking that I’m not conservative enough. That was one of the places where I committed the sin of ignorance. I was very sure that I’d get some judgmental glances my way from this family whom I saw nearly everyday, but they never came. Reflecting on this, it’s another reminder that I’m my harshest critic – what I mean by that is – I’m more judgmental towards myself than I think anyone has ever been towards me. It’s good to be aware of it. This trip definitely helped with that. So let me shift gears and tell you about my mindset before I left Fairfax, VA for Islamabad. So about a year before the tour, I decided I’d get a motorcycle just to prepare for the tour. With great help and support from my younger brother who had also just gotten a motorcycle, I bought the thing, got all the gear, and started practicing. I bought it in August and soon it was too cold to ride, so I used that as an excuse not to. Fast forward to April, a day before I leave for the tour my brother tells me I shouldn’t go cuz I don’t have enough experience.

 

So I text Alex and tell her what he tells me and ask her what she thinks. She tells me that so long as I’m not looking down at the instruments while riding, I should be okay. She had also shipped a motorcycle part to my place which I needed to take to Islamabad, I had already told everyone, and had taken the days off, etc so I really didn’t have a choice. So I went, but I was still very much in the mindset that if I didn’t feel comfortable, I would stay back. I could just stay in their hostel for the next 20 days.

So I land in Islamabad, Ihsan our tour guide, happens to pick me up – and of course as I am trying to get in the car, I walk over to what would be the passenger side in the US, but it was the driver’s side there. He’s all like, “oh you’re gonna drive?” Side note,  everything is the opposite in terms of driving there if you live in the US. They drive on the left side of the road; surprisingly it didn’t take too long to get used to. Back to the point, we eventually get to talking about how much experience I have (or don’t have) and I tell him what my brother told me and that I talked to Alex and he told me the thing that turned my “maybe” into – oh, in that case – I got this. He tells me Shireen, I’ve met women who have not even touched a motorcycle before going on tour – I teach them the day before and they go. After hearing that, I felt sooo much better. That was the push I needed, at least initially.

So I got in at 3 or 4 in the morning on the 10^th, I think. Then much later that day, we went out for a practice ride and that helped me immensely. My confidence level had gone back up – but the next day when I saw the three tall dudes who were also part of the tour I had mixed feelings. They were all from California and knew one another, so that was a bit intimidating. And as I said before, I am in introvert and it’s not always easy for me to insert myself in a new social circle – but they were suuuper sweet and after having chai with them I was starting to feel better. And I’ll probably devote a whole episode to this phrase from a song that keeps coming back into my mind, especially when I’m in Pakistan … which I think sums up the mindset of majority of Pakistanis… or at least the working class – they have this tendency to just leave it to God. It’s this idea that what’ll be will be … so with that in mind … I took off with the group. Please do check out the page for this episode on the website, I’ve shared some photos and videos from the trip (and from my previous trips to Pakistan) if you’re interested. And as for that song, you’ll just have to tune in to the next few episodes to find out what it is.

Okay so long story shorter, every time I return home from Pakistan the biggest sensation that stays with me is how kind the people were. Even on this trip. There were several times that my motorcycle got stuck in a pothole or I was in the wrong gear when going uphill so my motorcycle stalled, and sure enough some stranger would be behind my bike ready to push or pull. And this is also the perfect time to mention how immensely helpful Ihsan, our tour guide was. I may speak more about that later.  

But going back to the strangers – They initially don’t realize that they’re helping a woman on a bike and when they do come to realize it, it’s a neat moment to witness. They have a mixture of glee and surprise on their face. I never got a chance to stick around and chat with them, but I have no doubt that there isn’t any malice in their realization. If I did get the chance to speak to them, I imagine they’d show me respect. The reason I bring this up is because there is this notion that a country like Pakistan is dangerous for women – and it may be so – maybe it would have been different if I were alone, but I know Alex has ridden alone – but of course, there are precautions one must take – during this trip, I was with a group so that obviously was my precaution.  

At one point, there was a landslide on our route and sooo many men got out of their cars to see the destruction and the clean up process. Apart from the two very elderly women who crossed over the ruble before the cleanup began, there were no women in sight so me being the only one on a motorcycle – brought a lot of stares, but I didn’t really feel scared, mostly because, as I said, I was part of a group consisting of 7 other men. I’ll tell you about them in the Urdu portion.

On the last day of our tour, I ended up meeting up with Naeema!! She and I worked on episode #20 together on the Urdu poem covering the incident with George Floyd. It’s called mera dam ghuta hai. Do check that out if your Urdu is on the advanced side. Back to Naeema, I had spoken to her on the phone on and off, but never did we do a video call. I’m not sure why that was, so when I saw her in person, it was a bit of a shock that my mind didn’t have an image to reference.  It was such a beautiful mixture of emotions seeing her for the first time. Partly because I was totally exhausted from the motorcycle tour, partly because it was good to connect with a female, a Pakistani no less after more than a week of being around only men.

I don’t know if it’s worth mentioning, but I shared with her some of the frustrations I was feeling towards the end of the trip. For example how men would excuse themselves when I was putting on my motorcycle gear. And in my head, of course, because the first thought in my head is always against myself, I thought maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn’t behaving in a modest way. Maybe I was making the men uncomfortable by being immodest – perhaps I should put on my gloves, helmet and jacket in my own room. But of course the thought also went through my head that the men don’t have to do that. The men, whether they be front desk attendees or the guards waiting near the front door – they don’t excuse themselves when the men in our group are putting on their gear – in fact they come around and ask them questions – they might even ask them for a video testimonial or review of their experience… so Naeema told me that they’re just not used to seeing women in such clothes and it’s not a judgement against me or women, it’s just out of respect, they think I should have privacy while putting on my gear. There is no right or wrong, it’s just what each person is used to. Their culture is one way and my culture is another. I guess I understand that, but it does feel strange to always be kept at a distance.

At any rate, I was initially coming from a place of frustration, like I was voicing a complaint, but now I see – it’s like the idea of the third place – that perspective just wasn’t available to me. And the idea of them leaving the room where I’m the only woman is actually them paying me respect. It’s just another perspective, not right, not wrong. In the talk I referenced earlier What is Ignorance, he ends the talk by saying “The problem is the world is divided into people who think they’re right. So the basic sin, if you wanna use that word, in Buddhism is ignorance – but ignorance isn’t not knowing – it’s thinking you know. See if you can try to keep a “don’t know” mind going throughout your day. What is this? Don’t know. What is this? Don’t know. And that allows you to open up that space for intimacy between yourself and others and recognize that you truly are among rather than apart.”

Man I have soooo much to say. I haven’t even touched on how my brain has changed – how this experience literally changed how my brain is wired. So I’ll have to have another episode in English to talk about that. But before I sign off, with everything that is happening around the world, I encourage to have this “don’t know” mindset. Please do listen to the full talk – I hope it sparks curiosity in you – that it brings you closer to your fellow beings.